Forever is a Scary Thing
by utterxodestruction
Summary: "He couldn't find it in himself to be mad at his brother for making her drink his blood, or for taking that choice away from her. He couldn't seem to be mad about anything at all. She was going to wake up." S/E oneshot


He walks in circles for what feels like an eternity.

He stops short when he realizes where he ended up.

Her house, the same white house that he always ends up at.

His feet bring him here without his knowledge, always too deep in thought to realize where he's going. He shoves his hand in his pockets and stares up at her dark window. He listens to her steady breaths.

He feels his armor crack and it scares him.

So he runs.

* * *

><p>He runs until he hits the Virginia state line.<p>

He contemplates stepping over and never turning back.

All the guilt, all the pain, all the fear, leaving it all behind.

Leaving _her _behind.

He takes a step forward, straddling the line, glancing at the sign that tells him to come again. He leans forward, still straddling the line, to glance at the other side. The side that says Welcome Back. He laughs at the irony because no matter how hard he tries he'll never be able to leave it behind. It's a double-edged sword, always supposed to be leaving but longing to come back.

He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath.

He thinks of his brother and the memory of Lexi and his less-than-perfect friendship with Caroline.

But most importantly (against his own judgment) he thinks of her.

He steps back over the line.

* * *

><p>Damon corners him when he gets back.<p>

"Why don't you just tell her?" he asks.

"Because, there's nothing to tell," he answers before turning from his brother, forcing himself to walk away.

"Bullshit," Damon whispers before picking up the phone and dialing a number he knows all too well.

"He's ready," is all he says before ending the call and collapsing on the couch.

He's had enough of this.

It's time for his baby brother to come back.

* * *

><p>He doesn't know how it happens, but it does and before he knows it he's holding her hand as she struggles to breathe into a tube in a hospital bed. She has scrapes covering her whole body, broken bones, and even more internal bleeding. The doctor told him that she had a slim chance of waking up.<p>

Stefan hadn't moved from her side since she was admitted.

He drew in a shaky breath, letting a few tears fall. He kissed her lips lightly before leaning down to her ear.

"I'm so sorry baby. I love you, I love you, I love you," he began to babble desperately, "come back to me. Please please please."

He squeezed her hand willing her to squeeze back.

Her eyelids fluttered.

"I love you….Stefan," she whispered. She squeezed his hand and then went limp. Stefan's heart that hadn't moved since 1864 constricted him his chest as he realized what was happening.

"No," he whispered.

Her hand went limp.

She was gone.

* * *

><p>He carried her dead body back to the boarding house, laying her gently on the couch.<p>

He didn't know what compelled him to bring her back here, or to make the doctors let him, but he did and he's here staring at her. She looked peaceful, so peaceful she could be sleeping.

But she wasn't.

She was dead.

And now so was he.

* * *

><p>"What the hell?"<p>

Damon was at Elena's side in an instant, taking her hand and feeling for a pulse.

Nothing.

He was knocked into the far wall no more than a second later. Stefan crouched protectively in front of Elena's body. A fierce growl rippled from his throat and escaping from his lips. Damon stared at him in disbelief before he realized what exactly he was looking at.

"Oh no," he whispered, instantly letting his features turn sympathetic as he watched the tears fall from his brother's eyes. He was at his side in a second, gripping his brothers shoulders firmly.

"She isn't dead, Stefan," he said firmly, making sure he had his brother's full attention. "Do you understand what I'm saying? She is _not _dead."

Stefan stared blankly at him.

"She's going to wake up?" he whispered, a ray of hope breaking through the undertone of despair.

He couldn't find it in himself to be mad at his brother for making her drink his blood, or for taking that choice away from her. He couldn't seem to be mad about anything at all.

She was going to wake up.

* * *

><p>Elena entered transition around 3am.<p>

Stefan held her as she cried.

"What is happening to me?" she whimpered as he peppered light kisses on the top of her head, holding her closer.

"You're in transition," he explained, willing the tears that had welled up not to fall, "you were in a car accident while driving over to the boarding house. You…you died, Elena."

She was so still Stefan touched her face to make sure she was real.

"I'm a vampire?" she whispered, her voice breaking as her tears began to fall. Stefan simply nodded, unable to hide his own tears any longer.

She cried into his shirt until she couldn't anymore.

* * *

><p>"Why did you leave me?" she asked from his door way. He turned around, startled by her sudden appearance, to look at her. She looked tired.<p>

She looked sad.

"You know why," he sighed. They've had this conversation over a dozen times, but without fail she continues asking. Depending on the day she'll accept his answers and drop it.

This was not one of those days.

She extended her fangs and let the deep red pool at the bottom of her eyes, turning her rage into actions as she slammed him up against the wall. She growled as she applied more pressure to his neck.

"You left me!" she screamed, slamming him against the wall again, "You left me and you never even tried to come back! You let me drift away, let Damon convince me it was a good idea to drink his blood! You left me!"

Suddenly she was on the other side of the room and he was on the ground. He rubbed his neck, vaguely feeling the burns her strong hold left on his skin. He scanned the room trying to locate her. He found her huddled in the corner, arms crossed. He watched silently as the tears slipped down her face.

"I loved you, Stefan, and you just left," she whimpered as she walked back out of his room.

He didn't move until the she had gone to bed.

He crawled into his own bed and fell asleep to her steady breaths that he had grown so accustomed to.

* * *

><p>He paced back and forth the entire time she was out hunting, and frankly Damon was getting tired of it.<p>

"Will you calm down?" he finally yelled, causing Stefan to look in his direction, "She's fine! She's been hunting for almost two years now!"

Stefan didn't expect him to understand that it was the fact that she was out; it was the fact that she was alone, unprotected.

It was the fact that she wouldn't wake up the next time she was killed.

"I'm just worried," he mumbled, beginning to pace again. Damon rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his blood. He poured a glass for Stefan, who gladly accepted it.

"You know I'm glad you finally grasped this whole moderation thing," Damon said, grinning widely at Stefan. They hit their glasses together, taking a sip and savoring the taste. Stefan looked out the window then back at Damon.

"I knew it was what I needed to do," he began, averting his eyes from his brother's face. "It was the only way I could be who…" he dropped his eyes to the floor, memories from all those years ago flooding his head.

"Who she wanted you to be," Damon finished. Stefan nodded, taking another sip. "She loves you, you know," he continued, "you two should just be together and be done with it."

Stefan stared wide-eyed at his brother, unable to grasp what he'd just said.

"What? You think that after all these years I haven't learned how to deal with you getting something I wanted just as much?" he took a sip of his own drink before pointing it at his brother, "Stefan you underestimate me."

A chuckle escaped Stefan's lips before he could stop it.

"You really think she loves me?" he asked, memories of her yelling at him for leaving her filling his mind. Her face distorted in ways he always hoped it never would be capable of. He shuddered at the thought.

Damon rolled his eyes at his brother's stupidity.

"I don't think, baby brother," he began, punching Stefan's arm, "I know."

* * *

><p>On Elena's 25th birthday, the Salvatore brothers figured it was time for her to see more of the United States.<p>

"California," Damon announced, handing her an envelope with her name on it. Elena took it gingerly, a surprised look passing over her features before she looked up at both of them.

"Really?" she asked eagerly, a smile breaking across her face. They both nodded. She hugged both of them, jumping up and down with excitement. She ripped open the envelope, reveling enough money to hold her over for at least a year, a key to an apartment, and airline tickets.

"Wait, there are two tickets here," she stated, wonder hanging on every syllable. Elena's eyes landed on Damon as he smiled and pointed to his brother. Stefan's eyes found his brother's, fear and confusion passing over his features. Damon smirked, winking at his little brother.

"Have fun, love birds!" he called over his shoulder.

"Damon!" Stefan called, starting after his brother, leaving Elena alone in the family room. She glanced down at the envelope she held in her hands, finding a small piece of Salvatore letterhead folded in the corner. She carefully removed it from its spot, recognizing the elegant script that was scribbled across it.

_He loves you, Elena. Just give him some time._

_He's trying. This is my gift to you, a chance._

_Don't screw it up._

_-Damon_

* * *

><p>They had been living in Monterey, California for a little over a year now.<p>

They had a little house that was painted white and had blue shutters.

She sat in the family room and watched as he made dinner, because she still could not cook for the life of her.

She enrolled at the local community college, while he went and found work at a high-end chain restaurant. Sometimes he'd bring her home leftovers and she'd eat them like they were the last things she'd ever taste.

They would watch movies together and talk about their days.

Sometimes they would even go hunting together.

They were happy, and sometimes things felt normal.

And for them, that was just fine.

* * *

><p>Some nights they stayed up late talking about everything they could think of.<p>

Elena liked to ask Stefan about the places he had seen in this world.

Stefan just liked to listen to whatever she wanted to tell him.

"Stefan?" she asked timidly. He turned his full attention to her, bringing his eyes to rest upon her soft skin. She looked up at him through her thick eyelashes that stuck together like webs every time she blinked. An intense feeling of want washed over him, nearly knocking him off the couch they were sitting on. He stifled a gasp, nodding at her to continue. She took a deep breath.

"Why did you leave me?"

It was different this time, the way she asked it. It wasn't desperate or full of need; it was just a question that was whispered into the air. She just honestly wanted to know because curiosity was getting the better of her and let's face it his previous answers weren't very clear.

He watched as she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear, a nervous habit she developed in high school. One he always found adorable, along with every other thing she ever did.

"I mean I just want to know, now that so much time has passed. I just loved you so much, as much as humanly possible, and you just left me," she took in a shaky breath, obviously willing herself not to fall apart, "and the, the worst part was that, was that you didn't come back to me. You didn't come back even thought you promised. You said you'd always come back to me, always protect me. But you were gone and I was so fragile, so….so _human._ Suddenly all I could do was try and find you because without you I became nothing. I didn't know what to do. Damon was the closest thing I had to you, so when he suggested I start drinking his blood, just incase anything was ever to happen to me, I figured it was a good idea. I kept thinking that if I loved you, you'd come back to me. You were Stefan after all; you always kept your promises. At least if I died and turned, you would be there with me, and we could take forever to get everything figured out. But you didn't come back."

She was sobbing now and so was Stefan. He reached out his hands and cupped her face, brushing away her tears as they fell. He wanted to whisper everything in her ear, everything that would make her feel better but all he could do was sit there and stare at the girl that he had loved for the past 10 years. All he could do was cup her face and brush away the tears as his own fell.

He never knew how effected she was by him leaving. He knew she was hurt and upset and _broken _but he never knew that she was completely and utterly destroyed by it. He thought she was better off, better off with his brother, trying to be normal even for a little while. When he flipped the switch, he stopped caring about her wants and needs of normalcy. It was all about the blood, which explains why he never noticed any of this heartache.

"Where were you, Stefan?" she whispered, pulling him out of his thoughts. She let the memory of when she whispered those same words to his brother fill her mind.

The night Stefan had fed on her.

The night it all ended.

"I was lost," he answered, "but you, Elena, you were always the one guiding me home. Even when I turned it all off, you were there in the back of my mind. I don't think I would ever be able to forget you even if I wanted to."

He took a deep breath to steady himself, reaching out his hands and intertwining them with hers.

"But I came back, it might have been very, very late, but I came back."

Elena closed her eyes, letting the words wash over her. She squeezed his hands and leaned into his chest.

"Say it, Stefan," she commanded, breathing his scent in deep. He removed his hands from hers and wrapped them around her tiny body, drawing her closer. He placed a kiss on the top of her head, leaning in close to her ear.

"I love you, Elena. Always have, always will."

She slowly pulled away from him, staring deeply into his eyes. He knew what she was doing, she way looking for some sort of tell, some sign that he was lying. But he wasn't and she knew that. Suddenly he was pinned beneath her, his back being pressed into the small couch. She leaned down and bit gently at his earlobe, causing a moan to escape from the back of his throat.

"I love you, Stefan," she whispered, grazing his earlobe again. She laughed loudly when he ran her upstairs to his bedroom, laying her gentle on the bed.

Clothes became rags.

Skin became flesh.

And all her doubts faded away as he reminded her of his love for the rest of the night.

* * *

><p>Damon called on the two-year anniversary of their move to California.<p>

"So, how's it going?" He asked, causing Stefan to chuckle.

"Good," he answers simple, a smile breaking across his face. He glances down, seeing her curled up on his chest, sleeping peacefully.

Damon smiles on the other end.

"I knew you'd come around. Enjoy it, brother."

"_I intend to," _Stefan thinks to himself as he sets his cellphone on the nightstand and runs his hand through Elena's hair.

He falls asleep peacefully with her wrapped in his arms, right where she belongs.

* * *

><p>He proposes on a Wednesday.<p>

He takes her to her favorite little restaurant on the outskirts of town, telling her to dress up.

Her face is priceless when he gets down on one knee and opens the box.

He doesn't even finish asking before she jumps in his arms, squealing yes and kissing his face.

* * *

><p>He didn't know he could ever be this nervous, but he is, standing at the end of that aisle, waiting for her to appear.<p>

He wonders if this is what she felt like, all those years ago, when she was waiting for him.

He vows to never make her wait again.

He watches as Bonnie and Caroline appear at the end of the aisle, walking down to take their places. They are escorted by Damon and Matt, who take their places next to him. His brother clamps him on the shoulder, a silent good luck shared between them. Suddenly the music changes and the doors open to reveal Elena escorted by Jeremy. She looked like an Angel as she walked towards him, and when she took his hand he had the most beautiful realization.

She was his for the rest of eternity.

He was the luckiest man on the face of Earth.

* * *

><p>For their 100th Wedding anniversary, he hung up a map of the world and gave her three darts.<p>

"You throw them at the map," he instructed, "and wherever they land, that's where we'll go."

She smiled widely as he finished explaining, leaning up and peaking his lips. She lingered there, staring at him longingly. He chuckled and placed his hand over the darts.

"Let's figure out where we're going first." He chided, turning her towards the map. She laughed, throwing her head back, causing Stefan to laugh as well.

Elena gaged the darts and then swiftly threw them. Stefan approached the map, quickly reading off where they landed.

"Paris, France; Targovishte, Bulgaria; Calabria, Italy."

She threw her arms around him before he was even done speaking, showering him with kisses and whispering how much she loved him.

He couldn't have been happier.

* * *

><p>Sometimes Elena wonders how she got so lucky.<p>

Elena sighs, contentment filling her as she curls into Stefan's side, staring blissfully out their hotel window in Calabria, Italy.

It was by far her favorite place they had been so far.

She rolled over and traced the contours of Stefan's sleeping face, careful not to wake him. His beautiful features, no longer burdened with stress, but peaceful and sublime, like he's truly happy.

His eyes flutter open as she touches his lips and he blinks furiously trying to gain consciousness. Elena merely laughs softly and continues her mission to find new things on his face to memorize.

A smile breaks across Stefan's features and he grabs her hand, pressing a kiss to the inside of her palm.

"Good morning, Mrs. Salvatore," he whispers in her ear, his voice husky and full of sleep and just as full of love as it was 111 years ago when they were just starting.

It sends a shiver down her spin.

"Good morning," she responds, pulling him closer, curling into him once again. He responds immediately, wrapping his arms around her. She smiles, content. He grazes her ear lobe gently, his breath hot against her cheek. He begins to whisper the lyrics of the song they danced to at their wedding.

"Give me love like never before, cause lately I've been craving more. It's been a while but I still feel the same," Elena lets her eyes slip close, relishing in the sound of his voice and the effect it is having on her body. He begins to trace idle patterns on her exposed belly, kissing her cheek as he sings the last line. She turns and faces him, pressing a kiss hard on his mouth. When she pulls away, she sees his bright green eyes with gold flecks staring back at her, nothing but love and forever shining in them. She smiles, leaning her head against his chest.

"I'm happier than I've ever been before," she states, making his heart grow five sizes and his guilt disappear into mere oblivion. He kisses her lips, gently biting her lip causing her to moan. He traces her jaw line with his tongue before making his way back to her lips, and then up to that spot behind her ear.

He kisses it, sweeping at the sensitive skin, and she's gone.

"I love you, Elena. Always have, always will," he whispers, want and desire playing in his voice.

She smiles; letting his words wash over her.

"I love you more," she replies, breathless as he moves down her neck.

"Sure you do," he mumbles against her skin, allowing his fangs to show just a bit as he nibbles against her favorite spot. She closes her eyes and relishes in the feeling of his teeth against her neck, letting him spoil her with words of love and passion, confessions of everything she's heard a million times, and could hear a million more.

He loves her more than life itself he tells her as they roll over, becoming one. Elena sighs, feeling as if she's 18 and human, as if they're back at the beginning.

It all seemed so terrible back then.

But now, with Stefan by her side, forever doesn't seem so scary.

Not so scary at all.


End file.
